Welcome to Creative togetherness, we're a team of bloggers who've combined our collection of literary works for your review. We believe that your valuable comments and suggestions will help us introspect and improve our writing skills. We also believe, It will add a third perspective to our blog.
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The gift

[Foreword: for best results, try reading it with a French accent]

I had this wonderful girl I admire, who apparently invited me to lunch today. She told me she would cook a special "nouilles de maggie" served with a chilled "l'eau savoureuse da la maison" all for me. Hmmm sounds yummy. I got all excited and ripped my cupboard off searching for that special costume I should be wearing for this special occasion. Not that my charms weren't enough, its just that I had this urge to impress her all over again, it was my first date after all!. Finally I settled down for a black jean and a grey T-shirt. On second thought i did not want the costume to overshadow my charm.

I'm out of my house now... eyes wide open, yet dreaming. This was my first date, so I thought I would get a gift. All I carried was plastic money, but the gift seller wouldn't accept it. All he wanted was argent de papier. I zipped off to the ATM at rue de ashok nagar to draw the argent de papier. I know you would be expecting a simple insert, punch & draw story here. There comes the twist to the whole story...

Outside the ATM hung a board mercilessly grinning at me "TEMPORARILY OUT OF SERVICE", (as if the sun hadn't shown enough mercy towards me...) I checked where the closest ATM was and to my shock I'm informed it is located on rue de abhiramapuram. After a few sulks and sighs, I muster the courage to go for it. rue de abhiramapuram it shall be.

My journey continues, not for long... My cheval had gotten weary, and I had to stop. Oh la la! I was at rue de t.Nagar! Hmmm my delicious memoires of samosas were haunting me. It was already 12.30 noon and my stomach was in a grumpy state. I ventured into the "Auberge Dse Luxe" ... (Ok, if you haven't got a clue of what I'm referring to, dse luxe means 'deluxe' and auberge, 'Inn' in french)... After a refreshing cup of cafe au lait, and samosas-croissant, I proceed to my cheval. You must be wondering who was tired... moi or my cheval... well, no villain am i! I gave my cheval his fill of essence.

Back to the story; As I mount my cheval a stranger approaches me for directions to rue de abhiramapuram. I offer him a lift and proceed on my quest. On reaching rue de abhiramapuram, the stranger leaves, thanking me for the favor.

The location of the ATM seemed illusive, I had to make a triple loop of the place before I finally managed to locate it and in, I went leaving my cheval behind. The guard was cosily sitting in his couch, inside the air-contioned room. The soleil had already done away with half my charms.... wiping my forehead and ready to fight my next battle; I Don Juan, enter the arena to face the mammoth Money Spitting Monster!.

The crowd cheers(if not jeers) the lone hero who dared to enter. I pull out my sword and thrust it deep into the monsters mouth! to my horror, the monster fails to yield! this was going to be tougher than I had thought... I quickly cast a spell the one given by my fairy god mother (ehem, The Bank Actually!) and the monster shows the first signs of defeat, I demand it to bleed 4000 drops of blood. The monster is reluctant and would not yield, I had to think of another way to defeat this monster. Again I drew my sword and stab the monster in the mouth, and cast a quick spell, this time I command him to bleed 2000 drops and voila! the foolish monster gives in. Now just as the monster thought that i would leave, I turn around and stab him again! cast my spell this time doubly sure and confident he will yield, and as expected he bled another 2000 drops... Haha, the foolish monster had just been duped by Don Juan the greatest master of deceit in all this world...

I leave the arena towards my cheval eagerly awaiting his victorious master. With a sparkle in my teeth, a twinkle in my eyes and a head held high I mount my noble cheval and continue my voyage;I was running late. I reach my official fortress where I expected to see the princess awaiting my return. Yummm the smell of good nouilles de maggie had set my senses ablaze, and the thought of the cool taste of l'eau savoureuse da la maison that would wash it down was sending a tingling sensation through me. (almost like spidey hehe). I reach the fortress where my soldiers were resting, it was saturday and they were all tired from the battles of the week. I reach my "piece royal" (royal room) and Voila! saw there my princess awaiting...

I Don Juan , having gone through so many ordeals had in fact forgotten to get the gift for the princess. Alas! what was i going to do... Don Juan's quicksilver mind in action cometh to the rescue ; A gift for someone you love... costs some monster blood, yes! A post in her memory... priceless...

Hereby Signed
Don Juan


Paper Fan Club said...

Dear Don Juan: I hope the nouilles de maggie were worth the peril.

Leah said...

Dear Don, as this site is for the purpose of review I shall be very honest and say this: I see that you have a natural voice but are losing it behind technique or trying to emulate a style that is not your natural one. Relax and go with the flow more.Good work.

AVP said...

"nouilles de maggie". :). Good one. Hope the princess appreciated this post and invited you back for some more of those NdM.

Blogger Gabby said...

Thanks for the comments, paper fan club :)
Don Juan :p

Blogger Gabby said...

Thank you for the review creative blogger. taken note of your suggestion, will try my best to relax.

Serena said...

Hmm...was brought round the merry-go-round indeed. :D

Unknown said...

I don't know if this was the intent, but I thought this was hysterical. I was very entertained...and like your easy writing style. Keep it up!

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